just sthIt is really tiring when you are constantly under social stress. I'm not sure if everyone has come across this kinda problem before, but I'm surely my friend has stressed me out.
I guess I don't dare to show this to my dear friend at the moment... Let's see when it is the best time.
We are best friends in university. We study the same major, having similar interest and taste. We enjoy shopping and eating together. I believe she is one of my best friends in lifetime.
But things kinda changed after we lived together in the same room in hostel.We started seeing each other once we opened our eyes on bed, then we went to school together (we almost had same courses taken), then back to hall again, till the time we slept.It was like 16 hours a day?I begin to explore different times/faces of my friend,
some tiny little things that you don't used to notice before.she likes to put on her earphone, listen to music or the radio, in a relative high volume. This really irritates me at the beginning coz i kept talking to the air and realized actually no one was listening later.she is a really emotional person. Way more emotional than I know. When she is happy, she chats with you happily and we have lots of fun together. I really enjoy those times.But, she is not "in-th-mood", she simply shuts her door and rarely respond to you. I understand there are times that people need privacy, some times of quiet, silence. I really respect that. But it will be more appreciated with one can control the temper a little and not to burn everything approaches you.And very unluckily, this "not-in-the-mood" moments occurs quite often.Sometimes I can't help to wonder, if it is solely because Me is the roommate, so she can explicitly express her -ve energy as much as she likes? I observed that, in front of other classmates, she seldom behaved like that. Or it is ME who irritates her or annoyed her?
currently I was so hurt. One afternoon, I started researching some information for our graduation trip.
I looked up almost all travel agency I know, and even called them to check the information. When I told my friend that I've done research on our trip, she was like, "You should be working on your Honour Project instead" At that moment I thought I was almost going to cry. However few minutes later, I think she was right. I should be focusing on my work instead of looking for fun. But there was a pain in my heart. I was preparing that for OUR trip, but I cannot see any appreciation or excitement in her eyes.
Somehow, I regret making the decision of living in the same room with my friend.
lots of happy times... but.some parts of our friendship were ruined. Sometimes I even feel the hate inside me.
Looking forward to the weekend, take break from my friend,
and pick up our friendship again on the next Monday.
joyce+ at 下午3:49
2009年3月18日星期三
越來越近畢業，越來越迷惘。
預設好的路就快要走完了。
小學..中學...大學
大學之後，是一片空白，讓我們自行寫上我們的路
現在的我，就是站是這麼的一個邊緣
我一直在想將這事掉在一旁，等到非寫不可的一刻才去理它
不過現在，它已經是觸手可碰的未來
不喜歡心頭總是壓著一些事的感覺
讓我無辦法開懷的笑，開懷的玩
一切玩樂背後都帶著一點點的罪疚感，真的很討厭
這種鬱悶的感覺，大概要維持到畢業之後吧?
.................................................................
畢業功課 //
媽媽以前常說「又要馬兒好 又要馬兒不吃草」
最近常常在我腦裡迴轉
雖然不是說我要不勞而獲，只是覺得我以前可能餵得太少草吧
書到用時方恨少，唉
人啊，都是犯賤的。
現在的狀況有點糟，
因為我迷失了。
我不懂得如何處理這件事
不知道該如何開始做起
我做事如果不能有一個大概的概念在做，我會很困擾
我需要清楚整個流程才可以安心的順著流程一項項完成
現在呢，是一團霧的樣子
有很多個線頭，到底我要抓住哪一個才對呢?
沒有人可以告訴我
跟其他人說，他們是不能明白。
那些鼓勵的說話，真的聽得有點膩了。
「你得架！我信你！」
這又如何呢？
任何情況都可以套用這些話啊
我完全沒有要責備任何人的意思，大家的關心我都確切的收到
這條路我一定要自己走下去，
謝謝每一個支持過關心過我的朋友=)
.................................................................
繼續讀書?
雖然大家都在反對，不過我想繼續讀下去的
雖然我都明白...「世界上沒有讀得完的書」「邊做邊學，邊學邊做」
但我很想裝備好自己才上路 (雖然甚麼才是裝備完成，我都不知道)
無論如何，我是享受學習的過程的
如果可以，能去英國讀一年書，就好了。
有人說，我會撐不住寂寞的
也有說，我會很不習慣外國的生活
可能吧？不過我就是想試試看
真任性呢，不知道媽媽會怎樣說呢？
說不定，她會要我自己賺錢去讀，
那我就真的沒有辦法了
.................................................................
我的廢話還真多，
差不多應該要收工了。
下回再談談朋友和家人~
(下回會是在甚麼時候呢？)
預設好的路就快要走完了。
小學..中學...大學
大學之後，是一片空白，讓我們自行寫上我們的路
現在的我，就是站是這麼的一個邊緣
我一直在想將這事掉在一旁，等到非寫不可的一刻才去理它
不過現在，它已經是觸手可碰的未來
不喜歡心頭總是壓著一些事的感覺
讓我無辦法開懷的笑，開懷的玩
一切玩樂背後都帶著一點點的罪疚感，真的很討厭
這種鬱悶的感覺，大概要維持到畢業之後吧?
.................................................................
畢業功課 //
媽媽以前常說「又要馬兒好 又要馬兒不吃草」
最近常常在我腦裡迴轉
雖然不是說我要不勞而獲，只是覺得我以前可能餵得太少草吧
書到用時方恨少，唉
人啊，都是犯賤的。
現在的狀況有點糟，
因為我迷失了。
我不懂得如何處理這件事
不知道該如何開始做起
我做事如果不能有一個大概的概念在做，我會很困擾
我需要清楚整個流程才可以安心的順著流程一項項完成
現在呢，是一團霧的樣子
有很多個線頭，到底我要抓住哪一個才對呢?
沒有人可以告訴我
跟其他人說，他們是不能明白。
那些鼓勵的說話，真的聽得有點膩了。
「你得架！我信你！」
這又如何呢？
任何情況都可以套用這些話啊
我完全沒有要責備任何人的意思，大家的關心我都確切的收到
這條路我一定要自己走下去，
謝謝每一個支持過關心過我的朋友=)
.................................................................
繼續讀書?
雖然大家都在反對，不過我想繼續讀下去的
雖然我都明白...「世界上沒有讀得完的書」「邊做邊學，邊學邊做」
但我很想裝備好自己才上路 (雖然甚麼才是裝備完成，我都不知道)
無論如何，我是享受學習的過程的
如果可以，能去英國讀一年書，就好了。
有人說，我會撐不住寂寞的
也有說，我會很不習慣外國的生活
可能吧？不過我就是想試試看
真任性呢，不知道媽媽會怎樣說呢？
說不定，她會要我自己賺錢去讀，
那我就真的沒有辦法了
.................................................................
我的廢話還真多，
差不多應該要收工了。
下回再談談朋友和家人~
(下回會是在甚麼時候呢？)