最近最近第一次上班，
上班是一種很奇怪的東西，很想找到一份工作可以忘我地做下去。我相信我喜歡設計，喜歡與美學有關的東西。我相信，我已經找到我想要的行業。但每個人的際遇都不一樣，我知道真正的寶物是在雲端上，但我現在卻站在山腳下。每天上班，工作一會之後就希望下班，回家後就想另找一份工作，這樣的心理很糟。我想找一個地方下腳然後努力向上爬。騎牛搵馬，你又如何知道這隻將會是牛，還是馬? 當我開始做這份工，我以為自己找到一匹好馬，誰知道第二次我便發現我只是騎著一隻牛。
有時，其實我覺得我適合做一個普普通通的辦公室女孩，每天朝九晚六，下班後可以去學學烹飪、語文、跳舞。這種生活我試過，上班的時候很悶，但時間控制在自己手裡。每天下午六時，腦袋就開始停工，拉牛上樹磨爛蓆。從這個角度，我真的不適合做設計人呢。哈哈。 更加想有一個好老公養起我，讓閒時便想想自己愛的小手工。
不過，我知道，我是不甘心，不肯去承認自己沒有能力。
joyce+ at 下午2:14
2009年3月20日星期五
It is really tiring when you are constantly under social stress. I'm not sure if everyone has come across this kinda problem before, but I'm surely my friend has stressed me out.
I guess I don't dare to show this to my dear friend at the moment... Let's see when it is the best time.
We are best friends in university. We study the same major, having similar interest and taste. We enjoy shopping and eating together. I believe she is one of my best friends in lifetime.
But things kinda changed after we lived together in the same room in hostel.We started seeing each other once we opened our eyes on bed, then we went to school together (we almost had same courses taken), then back to hall again, till the time we slept.It was like 16 hours a day?I begin to explore different times/faces of my friend,
some tiny little things that you don't used to notice before.she likes to put on her earphone, listen to music or the radio, in a relative high volume. This really irritates me at the beginning coz i kept talking to the air and realized actually no one was listening later.she is a really emotional person. Way more emotional than I know. When she is happy, she chats with you happily and we have lots of fun together. I really enjoy those times.But, she is not "in-th-mood", she simply shuts her door and rarely respond to you. I understand there are times that people need privacy, some times of quiet, silence. I really respect that. But it will be more appreciated with one can control the temper a little and not to burn everything approaches you.And very unluckily, this "not-in-the-mood" moments occurs quite often.Sometimes I can't help to wonder, if it is solely because Me is the roommate, so she can explicitly express her -ve energy as much as she likes? I observed that, in front of other classmates, she seldom behaved like that. Or it is ME who irritates her or annoyed her?
currently I was so hurt. One afternoon, I started researching some information for our graduation trip.
I looked up almost all travel agency I know, and even called them to check the information. When I told my friend that I've done research on our trip, she was like, "You should be working on your Honour Project instead" At that moment I thought I was almost going to cry. However few minutes later, I think she was right. I should be focusing on my work instead of looking for fun. But there was a pain in my heart. I was preparing that for OUR trip, but I cannot see any appreciation or excitement in her eyes.
Somehow, I regret making the decision of living in the same room with my friend.
lots of happy times... but.some parts of our friendship were ruined. Sometimes I even feel the hate inside me.
Looking forward to the weekend, take break from my friend,
and pick up our friendship again on the next Monday.
I guess I don't dare to show this to my dear friend at the moment... Let's see when it is the best time.
We are best friends in university. We study the same major, having similar interest and taste. We enjoy shopping and eating together. I believe she is one of my best friends in lifetime.
But things kinda changed after we lived together in the same room in hostel.We started seeing each other once we opened our eyes on bed, then we went to school together (we almost had same courses taken), then back to hall again, till the time we slept.It was like 16 hours a day?I begin to explore different times/faces of my friend,
some tiny little things that you don't used to notice before.she likes to put on her earphone, listen to music or the radio, in a relative high volume. This really irritates me at the beginning coz i kept talking to the air and realized actually no one was listening later.she is a really emotional person. Way more emotional than I know. When she is happy, she chats with you happily and we have lots of fun together. I really enjoy those times.But, she is not "in-th-mood", she simply shuts her door and rarely respond to you. I understand there are times that people need privacy, some times of quiet, silence. I really respect that. But it will be more appreciated with one can control the temper a little and not to burn everything approaches you.And very unluckily, this "not-in-the-mood" moments occurs quite often.Sometimes I can't help to wonder, if it is solely because Me is the roommate, so she can explicitly express her -ve energy as much as she likes? I observed that, in front of other classmates, she seldom behaved like that. Or it is ME who irritates her or annoyed her?
currently I was so hurt. One afternoon, I started researching some information for our graduation trip.
I looked up almost all travel agency I know, and even called them to check the information. When I told my friend that I've done research on our trip, she was like, "You should be working on your Honour Project instead" At that moment I thought I was almost going to cry. However few minutes later, I think she was right. I should be focusing on my work instead of looking for fun. But there was a pain in my heart. I was preparing that for OUR trip, but I cannot see any appreciation or excitement in her eyes.
Somehow, I regret making the decision of living in the same room with my friend.
lots of happy times... but.some parts of our friendship were ruined. Sometimes I even feel the hate inside me.
Looking forward to the weekend, take break from my friend,
and pick up our friendship again on the next Monday.
2009年3月18日星期三
越來越近畢業，越來越迷惘。
預設好的路就快要走完了。
小學..中學...大學
大學之後，是一片空白，讓我們自行寫上我們的路
現在的我，就是站是這麼的一個邊緣
我一直在想將這事掉在一旁，等到非寫不可的一刻才去理它
不過現在，它已經是觸手可碰的未來
不喜歡心頭總是壓著一些事的感覺
讓我無辦法開懷的笑，開懷的玩
一切玩樂背後都帶著一點點的罪疚感，真的很討厭
這種鬱悶的感覺，大概要維持到畢業之後吧?
.................................................................
畢業功課 //
媽媽以前常說「又要馬兒好 又要馬兒不吃草」
最近常常在我腦裡迴轉
雖然不是說我要不勞而獲，只是覺得我以前可能餵得太少草吧
書到用時方恨少，唉
人啊，都是犯賤的。
現在的狀況有點糟，
因為我迷失了。
我不懂得如何處理這件事
不知道該如何開始做起
我做事如果不能有一個大概的概念在做，我會很困擾
我需要清楚整個流程才可以安心的順著流程一項項完成
現在呢，是一團霧的樣子
有很多個線頭，到底我要抓住哪一個才對呢?
沒有人可以告訴我
跟其他人說，他們是不能明白。
那些鼓勵的說話，真的聽得有點膩了。
「你得架！我信你！」
這又如何呢？
任何情況都可以套用這些話啊
我完全沒有要責備任何人的意思，大家的關心我都確切的收到
這條路我一定要自己走下去，
謝謝每一個支持過關心過我的朋友=)
.................................................................
繼續讀書?
雖然大家都在反對，不過我想繼續讀下去的
雖然我都明白...「世界上沒有讀得完的書」「邊做邊學，邊學邊做」
但我很想裝備好自己才上路 (雖然甚麼才是裝備完成，我都不知道)
無論如何，我是享受學習的過程的
如果可以，能去英國讀一年書，就好了。
有人說，我會撐不住寂寞的
也有說，我會很不習慣外國的生活
可能吧？不過我就是想試試看
真任性呢，不知道媽媽會怎樣說呢？
說不定，她會要我自己賺錢去讀，
那我就真的沒有辦法了
.................................................................
我的廢話還真多，
差不多應該要收工了。
下回再談談朋友和家人~
(下回會是在甚麼時候呢？)
預設好的路就快要走完了。
小學..中學...大學
大學之後，是一片空白，讓我們自行寫上我們的路
現在的我，就是站是這麼的一個邊緣
我一直在想將這事掉在一旁，等到非寫不可的一刻才去理它
不過現在，它已經是觸手可碰的未來
不喜歡心頭總是壓著一些事的感覺
讓我無辦法開懷的笑，開懷的玩
一切玩樂背後都帶著一點點的罪疚感，真的很討厭
這種鬱悶的感覺，大概要維持到畢業之後吧?
.................................................................
畢業功課 //
媽媽以前常說「又要馬兒好 又要馬兒不吃草」
最近常常在我腦裡迴轉
雖然不是說我要不勞而獲，只是覺得我以前可能餵得太少草吧
書到用時方恨少，唉
人啊，都是犯賤的。
現在的狀況有點糟，
因為我迷失了。
我不懂得如何處理這件事
不知道該如何開始做起
我做事如果不能有一個大概的概念在做，我會很困擾
我需要清楚整個流程才可以安心的順著流程一項項完成
現在呢，是一團霧的樣子
有很多個線頭，到底我要抓住哪一個才對呢?
沒有人可以告訴我
跟其他人說，他們是不能明白。
那些鼓勵的說話，真的聽得有點膩了。
「你得架！我信你！」
這又如何呢？
任何情況都可以套用這些話啊
我完全沒有要責備任何人的意思，大家的關心我都確切的收到
這條路我一定要自己走下去，
謝謝每一個支持過關心過我的朋友=)
.................................................................
繼續讀書?
雖然大家都在反對，不過我想繼續讀下去的
雖然我都明白...「世界上沒有讀得完的書」「邊做邊學，邊學邊做」
但我很想裝備好自己才上路 (雖然甚麼才是裝備完成，我都不知道)
無論如何，我是享受學習的過程的
如果可以，能去英國讀一年書，就好了。
有人說，我會撐不住寂寞的
也有說，我會很不習慣外國的生活
可能吧？不過我就是想試試看
真任性呢，不知道媽媽會怎樣說呢？
說不定，她會要我自己賺錢去讀，
那我就真的沒有辦法了
.................................................................
我的廢話還真多，
差不多應該要收工了。
下回再談談朋友和家人~
(下回會是在甚麼時候呢？)
2009年2月15日星期日
facebook真是一個過份方便的地方
讓我知道太多我本來不知道的事
讓我知道...我的朋友圈很細小...
讓我知道...別人都在做一些有意義的事...
看到別人有很多朋友一大班人的會很羨慕
但一大班人行動又讓我很不自在
看到朋友常常有很多gathering, 去很多不同的tour
就會覺得自己很沒用
自作孽
2009年1月7日星期三
有錢唔係大晒架!!
係呀，我唔似減緊肥，我比其他女仔食多好多。
對唔住，我真的沒有辦法日日飲兩杯奶然後仲淨係食菜，
sorry! i just CAN'T DO IT! 人是有極限的!
你沒有試過人人都出去吃飯，你就要欺騙所有人，
說你已經吃飽了，然後一個人躲起來喝那杯凍的奶吧
你甚麼都不知道! 我每天是抱著甚麼心情過日子
我唔知點解有人食極都唔肥
我都唔知點解有人食少d就可以瘦
我唔明點解你病一下又可以瘦，我又唔可以
無人知道點解我家人都是胖子
我唔知道別人怎樣減肥，我都唔想知，
我淨係知道，吃好味道的東西能讓我充電
我吃得比別的女生多，
你不如去找那些吃得少的女生做你女朋友吧
起碼你們的相處中少一樣東西可以吵架。
我跟你說，你再逼我，我就快要抑鬱
就這樣，不說了!
係呀，我唔似減緊肥，我比其他女仔食多好多。
對唔住，我真的沒有辦法日日飲兩杯奶然後仲淨係食菜，
sorry! i just CAN'T DO IT! 人是有極限的!
你沒有試過人人都出去吃飯，你就要欺騙所有人，
說你已經吃飽了，然後一個人躲起來喝那杯凍的奶吧
你甚麼都不知道! 我每天是抱著甚麼心情過日子
我唔知點解有人食極都唔肥
我都唔知點解有人食少d就可以瘦
我唔明點解你病一下又可以瘦，我又唔可以
無人知道點解我家人都是胖子
我唔知道別人怎樣減肥，我都唔想知，
我淨係知道，吃好味道的東西能讓我充電
我吃得比別的女生多，
你不如去找那些吃得少的女生做你女朋友吧
起碼你們的相處中少一樣東西可以吵架。
我跟你說，你再逼我，我就快要抑鬱
就這樣，不說了!